Confident children are the most secure, responsive, and hardworking kids that you can come across. They have good social skills and are ready to bounce back from failures. They know how to communicate when they hit the rocks. Which begs the question, what is the best parenting tip to bring up a secure and confident child?
Do not let them in your conflicts.
The child trusts that you are two loving parents who are perfect in their marriage. The moment they realize that you have unending conflicts; they lose trust and become fearful of you. They are filled with fear of the unknown. Parents should strengthen their union to give their children the impression that home is a perfect place to live. They will eventually know that their security is guaranteed.
Let them win your trust.
A child will confide in their parent when they encounter problems. Parents should assure them of helping them deal with their shortcomings. The parent’s commitment to assisting them builds their child’s trust. Help them overcome their fears. Let them learn how to confide in you with the wildest worries. Do not overreact when they mess up; give them a chance to explain the circumstances.
Give positive re-enforcement
Do not discipline a child in public. Instead, give them positive reinforcement. Encouragement through praise shows them that their efforts are paying off and they will keep pushing. Shaming them in public lowers their self-esteem. They will feel they have made the worst mistake, and their peers will use the insults to mock and make sarcastic remarks about them.
Build their self-esteem and self-confidence.
Self-esteem allows a child to take risks and try new things, while confidence will make them make informed decisions and avoid risky situations. Self-esteem will be built when a parent focuses on the teenager’s efforts and encourage them to take risks at trying out new things. When you motivate them more and advise less, it gives them a sense of belonging. They become more confident in what they do and are open to corrections.
Parent with your emotions in check
Teens have a way of ramping a parent’s nerves. However, parents must learn to self-regulate emotions amid a teen’s craziness. Parents who do not stay calm and throw their tantrums when a child messes lose their grip. Do not let your negative emotions overpower their mental health. It derails their efforts to be resilient. Show them they are loved through hugs and kisses, and they will have the inner confidence that they are loved and accepted.
Build good social skills
Teach and encourage the teenager to have friends whom they can play with and acquire social skills. Interacting with friends will build their self-worth and earn them good verbal and non-verbal communication skills. The communication skills acquired are good for boosting self-expression. Social interactions also help the teenager know how to deal with different behavioral groups to avoid peer pressure.
Be their positive mirror.
Most children learn about themselves from their parents. They pick up traits and build from them. As a parent, you are the foundation of their security and confidence. They pick up their actions, feelings, and behavior from you, the parent.
Help them face their worst fears.
Older children and teens experience fears such as
- Being social misfit
- Untold phobias, e.g., fear of the dark, heights, bugs, being alone
- Failing exams
- Looking bad
The imagined and unimagined fears overwhelm the child and cause them to lose focus in their daily undertaking. The first step to gaining confidence is ensuring they overcome these fears. Assure them that they are imagined fears and will soon disappear if they don’t focus on them.
How do you help them overcome the fear and build confidence instead?
1. Offer encouragement.
Encourage children to take bold steps amidst the fear. Stay consistent and exercise patience as you help the child through that walk of overcoming the fear. Children trust a parent’s instincts. They know you will help them tackle the problem. They do not expect a parent to let them down.
2. Reassure them of better times ahead.
Bringing up a secure and confident child requires soberness in decision making. Notice and identify what is making the child emotional or fearful. Once you find out, try to calm them with reassuring words. Teach and help the child strategize how to handle the issue. It will give them confidence that they are now on the right path.
3. Listen attentively before giving the best approach.
As a parent, let the child speak out about what is frightening. Use prompting questions to help the child work through that particular fear in a calm manner. Give reassurance to suppress the worry. Parents should not rush to decide, but carefully give an ear to their child.
4. Teach them self-regulation.
Once a child can manage their emotions, energy states, and behaviors, they can handle any situation they find themselves in. teach them to build their cognitive abilities and practice social self-control. Being self-regulated will reduce their stress levels in academics. It will also help them solve difficult situations without feeling overwhelmed. Self-regulation will help them understand and manage their emotions positively.
5. Do not let your fear worsen their fear.
A parent who is scared of helping their worried child feels out of control. However, if the fears are causing panic attacks, disruptive behavior, and withdrawal symptoms, it is good to seek help. The problem can take away the little confidence gained.
Parent’s mistakes that affect a child’s confidence
Parents who keep rescuing children from their mistakes don’t give children time to learn. Take them out of their fixation and comfort zones. Parents should avoid situations that put children at risk of hindering their development.
- Overprotecting the kids.
- Rescuing kids from responsibility
- Protecting Them From Their Own Emotions
- Fighting their battles
- Expecting perfection
- Punishing rather than disciplining
The core mission of a parent is to bring up secure and confident child. When parents model appropriate fear behaviors, they build the child’s confidence. Parents should carefully teach children to face things they fear to gain the opportunity to develop a child’s confidence. Give them responsibilities that harden their perceptions of life. A confident, self-assured child lightens up their future and hope for parents.